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Then Vice Principal Nero tells the children that if they keep failing their tests, they are going to be tutored by Coach Genghis, and that Sunny will be fired. He says that they will have extra-hard comprehensive exams the next morning. He also demands that they give him nine bags of candy each, as punishment for missing his concerts, and give Carmelita earrings for each time she brought them a message.

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At lunch, Carmelita Spats delivers the message that the Baudelaire orphans are to meet Coach Genghis on the front lawn at sundown (at the time of Nero's violin concert). Genghis makes them paint a circle, and then run "Special Orphan Running Exercises" or S.O.R.E. laps around the luminous circle at night, for nine days. As the Baudelaire orphans run the laps, they become tired. This causes Violet and Klaus to fail their tests, being too exhausted to be able to tell one end of a metric ruler from another. Sunny is unable to find any staples because she ran out of them.

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They are then introduced to Coach Genghis. The Baudelaire orphans immediately recognize him as Count Olaf in disguise but pretend not to recognize him. He makes an unusual remark about how orphans have stronger legs. Then they all rush to the auditorium to listen to Vice Principal Nero's daily concert, where they are forced, along with the rest of the school, to listen to his six-hour violin playing. At the concert, the Baudelaire orphans decide that they will go to Vice Principal Nero's office the next day to drop hints about Genghis. However, when they attempt to do this, Coach Genghis enters. The Baudelaire orphans try to unmask him, but he eludes them.

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Violet's teacher, Mr. Remora, is a man who tells very short, dull stories while eating lots of bananas, and the children take notes. Klaus's teacher, Mrs. Bass, has an irritating obsession with the metric system. She makes her students measure countless objects, then she writes the measurements on the board. Because Prufrock Prep doesn't have a class for babies, Sunny becomes Nero's administrative assistant doing work that a baby shouldn't.

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Reluctantly, The Baudelaire orphans go to the shack and find that it is crawling with crabs, dripping fungus and has horrible wallpaper (green with pink hearts). The orphans then go to lunch, where two women with metal masks serve them their food. Carmelita Spats mocks them again as they try to sit down. They are rescued by Duncan and Isadora Quagmire. The Quagmires tell about themselves. They are in a similar situation to that of the Baudelaire orphans. They are triplets, but their brother, Quigley Quagmire, died in a fire along with their parents. They, like the Baudelaire orphans, were left an enormous fortune (in the form of sapphires). Duncan would like to be a journalist, and Isadora is a competent poet (particularly in the form of couplets). They both have notebooks, or commonplace books, which they use often to write down observations and notions. They become good friends with the Baudelaire orphans.

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They soon meet Vice Principal Nero. He explains the rules of Prufrock Prep and tells them that his advanced computer system will keep their enemy, Count Olaf, away. He also tells them about the fine dormitories they have, but that unless students have parental permission, they must sleep on hay in a tin shack (known as the Orphan's Shack). He considers himself to be a genius and thinks that he plays the violin well, but in fact he is unworthy, stupid, mean, arrogant, obnoxious, annoying and cannot play the violin well at all. Nonetheless, students must attend his lengthy violin recitals every day, or else they must buy him a large bag of candy and watch him eat it.

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The book begins with the Baudelaire orphans and Mr. Poe on the grounds outside of the school, Prufrock Preparatory School (Prufrock Prep for short). Violet, Klaus and Sunny Baudelaire meet Carmelita Spats, a rude girl who calls the Baudelaire orphans "cakesniffers". Mr. Poe tells the children to go to Vice Principal Nero's office. On their way there, they notice the schools' motto: Memento Mori (Remember You Will Die) which Klaus, being well read, understands.

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The Austere Academy is the fifth novel in the book series A Series of Unfortunate Events by Lemony Snicket. It was released in paperback under the name The Austere Academy: or, Kidnapping! The Baudelaire orphans are sent to a boarding school, overseen by monstrous employees. There, the orphans meet new friends, new enemies, and Count Olaf in another disguise.